Fruit Slinger

"Why are you selling these? They look terrible!"

We were standing in front of the fraises des bois. They were starting to fade. I tried to explain. "Well, they're fragile. They're very delicate."

"I know them!"

"Yes, well. . . We pick them one day and then bring them the next. And then they sit out on the table. I know they're soft."

"I know them! Why are you selling them? They're in terrible condition."

Around and around.

Is this a good time to mention that she spoke English as a second language? I speak a second language, too. It can be difficult. You know, when I learned a second language, it took me a long time to learn how to be rude. Like, I started with polite requests and social niceties. It was years before I learned how to harangue people.

So either she's been at it for a while or she is gifted. Some people are gifted.

"Well, I'm not sure what to say. I guess don't buy them."

This seemed like an obvious and satisfactory solution for both of us. 

"They look terrible! I know them and they look terrible!

Oh my god. Are you still here, lady? I checked out in my head and then popped back in for a second and you're still here ranting? Is unappealing fruit a fit subject for unbridled and righteous outrage?

Is this a good time to mention that many people had come through already that day and purchased the berries — knowing full well that they were soft and fragile. Some bought more than one basket. All of them had tried at least one of the berries and decided that they were worth the money. Many of them — more than usual on this particular day for whatever reason — told me about picking them when they were growing up. It was clear that, for whatever their condition, these berries were making those people happy. 

"Why are you yelling at me about them?" I didn't wait for a response before telling her that we were finished and walking away. 

"You are an unpleasant man!" she said.

A little while later I told Peter someone was unhappy with the fraises des bois. I said she complained for quite a while before I gave up listening.

"Well, did you give her her money back?"

That's the thing. "She didn't buy anything."