Fruit Slinger

"Listen, when you get back to the farm, tell Lupe he needs to irrigate the melons. And take care of the cucumber beetles."

This was my boss talking. He liked to tell me to tell Lupe things because Lupe's English was a little shaky and my boss felt better if I conveyed the message in Spanish. Never mind that I was not here most of the time and things seemed to get done fine without me, that my Spanish and Lupe's Spanish were cut from different cloth, and that if I don't know what something is in English (cucumber beetle), the chances of my knowing how to say it in Spanish are slim.

"Also, someone told me that leaving a radio playing overnight near the cherry trees will scare away the raccoons. So I think we should do that. Maybe use the stereo in the barn."

I next saw Lupe several hours after I had returned from town.

"Did you talk to Peter?" I asked him.

"Yes."

"And he told you about the melons and everything?"

"Yes."

My side of the conversation was taking place in Spanish. His monosyllabic answers were in English.

"Peter also seems to think that putting a radio out in the middle of the cherry trees will deter the raccoons. Am I explaining myself?"

"Yes." He was starting to smile.

"So I was going to run some speaker wire from the stereo in the barn and just set up a speaker by the trees."

"OK."

"Does it seem like a good idea?"

Lupe smiled and shrugged.

"Well, it's just for one night. We'll try it. We'll see if it works."

I wasn't getting much reaction out of him. So I tried again. "We'll try it, no?"

"OK."

A little while later, he caught me trying to pass the speaker wire out through the barn window toward the trees. One of his helpers was with him. "Eso es para chingar los raccoons?" he said. ("That's to fuck with the raccoons?") "Exactly," I said. He smiled.

Lupe looked at me for a moment and then said: "Maybe a little radio with batteries? I have."

I switched over to English. "Yes! That's a much better idea."

He brought out his radio.

I walked out to the trees and did a test run. I had a small audience as a few of Lupe's helpers looked on.

It was still daylight. So there weren't exactly raccoons around anyway. Still, the radio did not seem to ATTRACT raccoons in broad daylight. Surely that was something.

I walked back to the little group that was watching me. "I'll come out after dinner when it's starting to get dark and turn it on," I said. "But, Lupe, you have to turn it off in the morning. Because I'm out of here really early."

"OK," he said.

I smiled. They smiled. I shrugged.

One of them spoke. "Maybe it'll work," he said. "Or maybe you'll wake up to an orchard of dancing raccoons."